The crew who left and came back twice: the two exits, the two returns, what the ground taught and why the third time is the last

Ex Qantas, 22 years, now in airline training, and the 'left and came back' thread on here is about the ones who came back once. I did it twice, which is rarer and which the crew who are thinking about leaving should hear, because the second exit is the one that teaches you.

The first exit, at 31

Eight years in, tired, a relationship that wanted me home, an office job in Melbourne in travel sales. The reasons were the reasons every leaving thread describes: the roster, the distance, the sense that year nine would look like year eight. I left well, with notice and a goodbye flight.

The first return, at 33

The office was fine and I was not. The sales job used the travel knowledge and none of the rest. The relationship ended anyway. I missed the crew, the doors closing, the sky. I reapplied to Qantas as a returning crew member (the airline has a process for it, with a shortened training and the seniority partly restored under the agreement at that time) and I was back on the line within six months. The return was the best decision of the decade.

The second exit, at 41

Ten more years, the ultra long haul, the body budget James described, and a father who was dying in Melbourne. I left for him, for two years, and did a ground role in the airline's operations centre because I could not leave the building entirely. The ground role taught me the airline from the side the crew never see: the disruption desk, the crew tracking, the decisions the crew complain about made by people who are also tired.

The second return, at 43

My father died. I went back to the line for four years because I wanted to finish flying on my own terms, not on a family crisis. The return was harder at 43: the body, the seniority restored less, the younger crew. It was still right. I flew until 47 and left for the training role I have now, which is the third exit and the last.

What the two exits taught

That the ground is not the enemy and that the ground roles use the flying years. That the crew who leave for a reason outside the job (a relationship, a parent) often come back when the reason resolves, and that the airlines mostly let them. That the first exit is usually too early and the second is usually about right. That the return is harder each time and the seniority is the price. And that the last exit should be chosen, not forced, because the crew who are forced out carry it and the crew who choose do not.

For the crew thinking about leaving

Ask yourself whether the reason is the job or something the job is in the way of. If it is the job, leave and do not look back. If it is something the job is in the way of, leave, handle it, and know that the return exists and that the airlines have a process for it. And whichever it is, leave well, because the airline remembers how you left when you ask to come back.