Layovers with a crew you do not know: how long haul crews who meet at the briefing decide what to do together and the unwritten rules

Virgin, two years, and the thing that surprised me most about long haul was not the flying: it was arriving in a city with twelve people I met eight hours ago at the briefing and having to work out how to spend 24 hours with them. Nobody explains this. Here is how it actually works and the rules crews follow without saying them.

The briefing is the first move

At a big airline you rarely fly with the same crew twice. The briefing room is where the layover social life starts. Someone asks 'anyone been to X before' and the crew who has becomes the unofficial guide. Someone says 'I am going to the gym and sleeping' and that is a legitimate answer. By the end of the briefing there are usually two or three loose groups: the go out group, the food group, and the sleep group.

The crew bus

The second move. The plans firm up on the bus from the airport: a meeting time in the lobby, a place for dinner, a message on the crew group. The crew who want company say so here. The crew who want solitude go quiet here, and that is respected.

The unwritten rules

1. Nobody is obliged. The crew member who goes to their room and sleeps for 20 hours is not being antisocial. They are being a long haul crew member.
2. The lobby time is the lobby time. If you say 6pm, be there at 6pm or send a message. The group leaves at 6:10.
3. The bill is split evenly unless someone says otherwise before ordering. The crew who orders the lobster and expects an even split is remembered.
4. The purser or cabin manager is invited and often does not come, and both are fine.
5. What happens on the layover is not discussed at the next briefing. The crew world is small and the stories travel.
6. The one who drinks too much is looked after and then not invited next time.
7. The last person back to the hotel messages the group, so nobody worries.

The solo layover

Sometimes the crew are all sleep group and you are alone in Delhi. The solo layover threads on here cover it: the hotel gym, the walk in daylight, the restaurant with a book. It is fine. It is sometimes the best one.

The crew that clicks

Once in a while the briefing produces a crew that just works, and the layover is the best 24 hours of the month with people you will never fly with again. Everyone who does long haul has three or four of these a year and remembers them for years. That is the thing about the job that nobody who has not done it understands.

For new long haul crew

Say yes to the first dinner. Say no when you need to. Be on time in the lobby. Split the bill. And do not take it personally when the crew you loved on Tuesday do not remember your name in March, because you will not remember theirs either, and you will both still have had a good Tuesday.