Crew who are parents: the school run at 3am, the roster on the fridge, and how the children actually see the job
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#1 I have written about the childcare maths elsewhere. This is the other side: what the job looks like to the children, from six years of two kids and a roster on the fridge.
The roster on the fridge
It is a real thing in every crew household. The month printed out, the days away highlighted, the days home marked. My daughter learned to read it at six. She now checks it before she asks for a sleepover. It is the family calendar and it is the reason my children understand the concept of a fortnight before their friends do.
How they see the job
At five: mum flies planes. (I do not. Every crew parent has this conversation.) At seven: mum works on planes and brings back the little jams. At nine: mum is away sometimes and it is normal and can we have pizza on the nights she is away. At eleven, my eldest now: mum has a hard job and does it well and I would like the airline discount for my school trip.
The 3am school run
It is not a school run at 3am. It is me leaving at 3:45 with the kids asleep and a note, and their father doing the actual run at 8. But there is a specific guilt in closing the door on a sleeping house at 3:45 that I am not sure fades. The kids do not know I was there. I know.
What the job gives them
A parent who is home for whole days, properly, not evenings after an office. Staff travel, which means they have been to more places than their friends. A specific independence, because a crew household runs on everyone doing their bit. And a mother who is not dreading Monday.
What it costs them
Some birthdays. Some sports days. A parent who is sometimes tired in a way that is hard to explain to a seven year old. And, honestly, a slight worry when the roster shows a long trip, which I did not know they had until my son said so.
For crew thinking about children
Domestic or short haul. A partner whose roster interleaves. Family nearby. And the printed roster on the fridge from the first month, because it makes the job visible and the visible thing is less frightening.
Parents, your version?
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#2 Delta, two kids, and the roster on the fridge is exactly ours, and my son also learned to read it before he could read a book. The 'mum flies planes' conversation has happened annually for nine years. The airline discount request also.
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#3 Air New Zealand, one child, and the closing the door on a sleeping house at 3:45 is the thing I did not expect to still feel at year five. It does not fade. It becomes normal without fading, which is a strange combination.
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#4 Condor, long haul, no children yet and reading this to decide. The domestic or short haul advice is the honest one and I know it and I am not ready to give up the Maldives yet. Give me two years.
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#6 Cabin manager, one child, short haul, and the 'home for whole days' thing is what the office parents at the school gate do not understand. I am at every pick up on my days off. They are at none. Different shape, not worse.
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#7 Jet2, one daughter, and hers is the pink dress in the white wash story from another thread. She also thinks I fly the plane. She is eight. I am not correcting her yet.