Sending money home: the crew who support families abroad, the systems, and the conversation nobody has
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#1 Filipino, Gulf carrier, and every month a large part of my salary goes to Manila. That is true for most of the Filipino crew, most of the Indian and Kenyan and Ghanaian and Nepali crew, and a good number of others. It is the arrangement, it shapes the whole experience, and it is almost never discussed on this forum. So, the thread.
How it works
A fixed amount, transferred on payday, through whichever service is cheapest that month. The amount was agreed with the family before I left and it has gone up once. It covers a parent's medical, a sibling's school, and a contribution to the house. What is left is mine, and 'mine' includes the flat share, the food, the uniform costs and, if I am careful, a small saving.
The systems
The bank transfer, which is slow and has bad rates. The remittance apps, which are faster and cheaper and change every year. The colleague who is going home and carries an envelope, which is old fashioned, technically not allowed for large sums, and still happens. Everyone has a system and the crew groups by nationality compare rates monthly.
The conversation nobody has
With the family: how much is enough. The amount tends to become the expectation and the expectation tends to grow. Crew who never set a limit end up sending everything and saving nothing and staying in the job longer than they wanted because leaving would end the flow. I have watched it. I set a limit in year two and it was the hardest conversation I have had with my mother and the most important.
With yourself: what is it for. If it is for a house that will be yours, it is an investment. If it is for a cousin's motorbike, it is not. The crew who are clear about the difference are the ones who leave when they want to.
What I would tell a new crew member from a remittance culture
Set the amount before you go, in writing if you can. Keep a percentage for yourself and do not apologise for it. Send it on a schedule, not on request. And talk to the older crew from your country, because they have all had the conversation and they will tell you how.
This is not a complaint. It is the arrangement, and I chose it. But it deserves a thread.
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#2 Kababayan, five years, and the 'set the amount before you go' advice is the one I give every new Filipino crew member in the accommodation. I did not set it. It took three years to fix. Thank you for writing this properly.
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#3 Kenyan, and the same arrangement, the same monthly transfer, the same hard conversation in year two. The 'expectation grows' point is exactly right. The limit was the best thing I did and my mother now says so.
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#4 Ghanaian, applying, and this is the thread I needed and would not have known to ask for. The conversation with the family before I go. Understood.
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#5 Indian, and the remittance culture is the same and the conversation is the same. What helped me: sending to a specific account for a specific thing (my sister's fees), not to the general household. Specific money is respected. General money is spent.
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#6 @priyankadel specific money is respected, general money is spent. That is a rule I am adopting and passing on.
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#7 Sudanese, Qatar, and the envelope with the colleague going home is real and I have been the colleague. Not for large sums. For the sums the apps do not reach. Thank you for saying it out loud.