Crew who fly with a fear of flying: yes, it exists, and here is how we manage it
-
#1 French, five years, and I have a fear of flying. Not a small one. I have it under control and I am good at my job and I want to talk about it because I know I am not the only one and the ones who have it hide it.
How it started
Not from a bad flight. From my first year, when I understood the aircraft well enough to imagine what could go wrong and not well enough to know how unlikely it is. Somewhere in month four I started dreading the sign on. I told nobody.
How I manage it
Knowledge, first. I asked the pilots questions until I understood what every sound was. The fear feeds on mystery. I know now what the thump under the floor is, what the engine note change at top of climb means, why the wing flexes. Each answer removed a piece.
Routine, second. The arrival routine, the galley routine, the walk through. When my hands are doing the job my head has less room for the fear.
A mantra, which I am slightly embarrassed to write: 'the aircraft is doing what it was built to do'. I say it on take off. Every take off. Five years.
Professional help, third. A therapist who specialises in it, four sessions in my second year. It is not weakness. It is maintenance.
What I did not do
I did not tell my airline, and I am not sure that was right. I did not medicate, which was right. I did not quit, which was right.
What I want to know
Are there others? How do you manage it? And for the senior crew: did it fade with years, or did you just get better at carrying it?
-
#2 It fades. Mine was the first winter on the ATR in Shetland and it went with exposure, exactly as you describe: knowledge, routine, the pilots' boredom. Three years in and turbulence is weather. Yours will get there.
-
#3 You are not the only one. Lufthansa, and I had it for two years and I told nobody either. The engine note at top of climb was the exact sound that started mine. Knowing what it is ended it. Thank you for writing this. Someone reading it tonight needed it.
-
#4 Fourteen years and I would say a third of crew have had some version of this at some point and almost none say so. The therapist is the right call and the airline has, in most cases, a confidential occupational health route that does not go on your file. Worth knowing.
-
#5 Also French, and I would add: the fear got worse when I was tired and better when I slept. The going phase and the fear phase were the same phase for me. Sleep is treatment.
-
#7 Not crew yet and I have a small fear of flying and had been wondering if it disqualified me. It does not, apparently. Thank you all.